So maybe we both agree!

Anyway Ian good to see you back and thanks for checking out the blog.

Also thank you for the Gurdjieff link.

Also, I hadn’t realized that backpacking trip and near drowning was a recent thing, I thought it was something from the past. Glad to hear you made it back OK!

But what this lead to, when I tried to figure out why I was doing this to myself, was the realization that I had been (subconsciously) using this blog, and the internet in general, as a way of pushing all the parts of my life out of view. If I focus on this one thing, everything else will just disappear, right? ;)

I was lucky to have my motives exposed to myself, in a way I could understand them, and I have been trying to recalibrate the spirit in which I do these things. Trying to oil the the squeaky dharma wheel and get it back into a more proper alignment, so to speak. Better integration of things spiritual and mundane, while not muddying the difference between those two poles.

As for Gurdjieff’s “shock treatment”, the way I look at it is more like a combustion engine. After a certain point, you just run out of energy internally, and you need something like a shock or a spark from outside to get things moving again in the right direction. This comes from Gurdjieff’s law of octaves, which you can find a brief description of here.

The day I wrote that response to Ted, I was feeling a bit nervous. You don’t ask the universe to give you a kick in the ass and not feel at least a bit scared of how that’s going to manifest, not if you’re honest with yourself. But I was standing in line at a store and realized how much tension this was building up in me, and I thought “Fine, whatever the universe sends me, I accept it”. This great sense of peace sort of settled around me, and I kind of thought “maybe this is the shock?”, because it was the last thing I expected. I’ve been waiting for that sense peace to fade back into tension, but it still seems to be there, sort of humming in the background… Who knows?

So yeah, Pavel, your condemnation of shock therapy as you describe it is spot on, I think. And the plumbing metaphor’s pretty great too. As Ted points out, one of Gurdjieff’s main teaching was that unconscious suffering is stupid, but conscious suffering is one of the best ways for spiritual growth. That’s exactly what you’re talking about, I think.

Anyway, I am still trying to put all this together, but I’m hoping to have a chance to sit down and start writing something new on Sunday. I might not finish it for a while, but I do expect some small things to come out in the meantime…

From what I understood of your advice, it appeared that you were advising Ian to do something unorthodox, unexpected and powerful in order to overcome the current difficulties he is facing. This is precisely shock therapy as it does not address the issues that it seeks to overcome, instead it temporarily changes focus onto other things than the problem.

I have used this tactic before and so have uncountable others. If you question people who have traveled with the aim of transcending their problems (ie. gap years, trips to India, retreats,…) you will generally find that they have had very intense experiences which gradually gave way to how things were before upon their return to old conditions and behavioural patterns. Nothing changed. It was just a trip.

The only way that these things can be tackled is if they are faced in their current state and condition. As they are.

You can’t change the plumbing in London by working on it in Kathmandu (even if in Kathmandu you happen to have access to tools that are twice the size of the ones you have in London).

I strongly disagree with the shock therapy, as you pointed out the wheels squeak to inform you about what needs to be addressed. There is no escaping, or shocking it out of existence. More and more I find that this whole trip is hugely about learning how to navigate it, not about going to a place where it becomes safe and painless.

Being mindful of bad shit happens to be as hard as it is permanently therapeutic.

Anyway, keep on writing and sorting shit out.

I have a good feeling about this one being long term.

And back in fine style as well; that’s an excellent point, some sort of shock is needed. I don’t know what, but I bet the universe will provide. Don’t think I can do it to myself.

The Gurdjieff connection hadn’t even occurred to me, don’t know why. This is definitely a “stuck at mi” kind of thing.

I will sit and wait patiently for a shock, and not give up and move to something else. Looking for some shocks, if they are indeed what I need… #prayercode

Its probably good stuff you are holding back.

Do the blogging equivalent of giving yourself a shock!

Try backpacking across the country and almost drowning or something.

Seriously. Worked for me. Straight Gurdjieff. The law of seven. Not that I know where I am at now but at least one notch up.

‘course, you might already be more of a “good householder” than me already.