Reclusland

I think I’ve been pulled out of Plato’s Cave.  At least for a little while.

Everything before was like an abscess, a hernia along the inner lining of my awareness, where I was tucked into because of certain things I was holding on to.  Sort of a “stuck-in-the-backwash” kind of thing.  Everything was going along through me, but I wasn’t going with it.  I was holding back.  Now, not so much.

Living in a echo chamber, or an anteway, rather than going out the door.

I am not naïve enough to hold tight to this. If it lasts, it lasts.  If it doesn’t, well, at least I know it is a place to be gotten to, or something like that.

What a hellish day it’s been though.  Horrible.

I was hiding, and now I am not.  No decision was made, nothing was done.  Thoughts went along both before and after whatever happened “happened”.  But they went along.  Experience was experienced, thoughts taken up, considered, released, with the knowledge that all true information circles back around.  False knowledge fades when it is let go.

The idea of the exhaustion of karma makes a lot of sense to me at the moment.  One day it’s there, the next, it’s gone.  The thought of Divine Grace comes to mind, but karma works so much better.  If this is divine grace, then so is the turning of water to steam by heat (actually, that probably is Divine Grace too, but I wouldn’t have thought of it before).

Don’t know if I would say anything is done.  Probably not, probably more to do.  But this feels quite nice after all the dukkha today.

Coughed up a big chunk, I did…

Gonna stop now, before it goes away.  Time to go outside and play in the sunlight.