Reclusland

Strangely, the process of creating the illusory sense of a self arises out of compassion, but confused compassion, which is desire. This may sound odd, but it is as if there was an eddy in reality that befuddled empty and compassionate awareness, which is not a thing nor separate from things. Thus, somehow it seems that there is something to defend, some separate self that must be protected. Thus, out of confused compassion, barriers and defense mechanisms continue to be erected to defend this territory, this illusion of a separate self. Spiritual practices are designed to systematically debunk this illusion and penetrate these barriers by providing clarity, whereas all of the traditions can easily become part of these barriers, cultures to defend, knowledge to assume is self or owned by self, and that sort of thing.

I am very interested in the idea of “an eddy in reality”, what that might mean, and what it might be. Intimately tied to this idea is the idea of “crossing to the far shore” common to both Buddhism and the I Ching. This is why the yanas (Hine-, Maha-, and Vajra-) are called yanas.

Also:

Thus, with enough stability and clarity (concentration and wisdom), this natural, compassionate process of manifestation can begin to function more skillfully, as it has better information to go on, and can begin to see that creating the illusion of a separate, permanent self was not at all helpful (though it seemed to be). At this point, “it” will then let go of the illusion it has been perpetuating and return to understanding its natural state, which is freedom and non-duality.

My question here is, what was this natural process of manifestation doing before it got caught in the idea of a separate self.  And now that that separate self is seen through, what else can that process accomplish through this “one” who is now aware of it…

Such good stuff:

This is something that absolutely cannot be accomplished by an act of will. It only arises when the level of clarity is high enough and the heart accepting enough of things as they are. One might say that Grace favors the well-trained mind.

The broad strategy is to visually represent a computer program in such a way that, when one looks at the visual representation, one’s visual system naturally responds by carrying out the computation and generating a perception that encodes the appropriate output to the computation. That is, there would be a special kind of image that amounts to “visual software,” software our “visual hardware” (or brain) computes, and computes in such a way that the output can be “read off” the elicited perception.

Ideally, we would be able to glance at a complex visual stimulus—the program with inputs—and our visual system would automatically and effortlessly generate a perception that would inform us of the ouput of the computation. Visual stimuli like this would not only amount to a novel and useful visual notation, but would actually trick our visual systems into doing our work for us.

The specifics of our goal may change with time as we become more familiar with the realities of these, but the core motivation for all of this never changes. That is quite a statement, given that all things are impermanent, and about as big a hint as can be given. Whateverultimate truth you want on the spiritual path is to be found in the sensations of the wanting itself.

“God is love. Love your people. Keep them close. If you always keep them close, no matter what, because you must love, then you must forgive. Yes?”

The lungs sit on top of the diaphragm, a very powerful muscle which is fixed to the lower ribs, sternum, lumbar vertebrae (via the crura), and so on. When we inhale, and if our diaphragm is in good health, it normally contracts, and the dome of the diaphragm flattens downward (other movements by the diaphragm in other directions take place as well) against the viscera, which allows the lungs to expand to receive fresh air. When we exhale, the diaphragm relaxes upward (returns as a result of its elasticity) against the lungs, helping to expel used air from them. In other words, when we are breathing well the dome of the diaphragm first contracts downward during inhalation to allow the lungs to expand more fully, and then relaxes upward pushing on the bottom of the lungs and, along with the secondary breathing muscles, helps the lungs empty (except for the residual volume that is necessary to keep them from collapsing). The changing thoracic pressures, greatly influenced by the movements of the diaphragm, help regulate the movement of air in and out of our lungs and, of course, through our vocal cords.

If you have a tight belly, one that does not easily and freely expand outward as you inhale, the diaphragm has a more difficult time moving downward because it is being resisted by the contracted abdominal muscles and the viscera (everything touches something else and a movement or constriction in one pace influences everything around it). When you relax your belly and allow it to expand as you inhale, your viscera drop slightly down and out and the diaphragm can more easily contract downward. Then, when exhalation takes place, the diaphragm begins its upward movement of relaxation and elasticity aided by the natural movement of the belly as it returns toward the spine. All of this is called natural diaphragmatic or abdominal breathing.

(from here)
(Dennis’s blog here)

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

Thus, when pleasant sensations arise, there is a constant, compassionate, deluded attempt to get over there to the other side of the imagined split. This is fundamental attraction. You would think that we would just stop imagining there is a split, but somehow that is not what happens. We keep perpetuating the sense of a split even as we try to bridge it, and so we suffer. When unpleasant sensations arise, there is an attempt to get away from over there, to widen the imagined split. This will never work, because it doesn’t actually exist, but the way we hold our minds as we try to get away from that side is painful. When boring or unpleasant sensations arise, there is the attempt to tune out all together and forget the whole thing, to try to pretend that the sensations on the other side of the split are not there. This is fundamental ignorance and it perpetuates the process, as it is by ignoring aspects of our sensate reality that the illusion of a split is created in the first place.

(running out of pictures of the guy…)

We constantly struggle with reality because we misunderstand it, i.e. because reality misunderstands itself. (emphasis mine)

So long, monks as my knowledge and vision was not entirely clear, about the twelve aspects of the Four Noble Truths, or these Four Noble Truths, I did not claim to have had a peerless awakening in this world with its humans and celestials, its gods and devils, its ascetics and priests. Only when my knowledge and vision were entirely clear in all these ways, did I claim to have had such awakening.

The product, which Alexander says is “in between art and science,” sounds appropriately primal and otherworldly. In one version, Alexander used what he describes as a tribal drum beat to represent the rotation of the sun, and he layered the voice of a singer (his sister) to represent the charge state of carbon atoms, for example.

“Every piece of scientific data tells a story. I’m expressing this story through music. These sonifications present scientific data in a way that is immediately visceral.”

The solar wind fills the solar system and interacts with the planets, explains Jason Gilbert, a research fellow in the Department of Atmospheric, Oceanic, and Space Sciences. On Earth, solar storms can disrupt power on the ground and on satellites.

(from futurity.org)

(more info on the YouTube page and at the University of Michigan)

Found this Shinzen Young video that explains the differences between a Burmese Vipassana and Zazen better than I ever could.  This is kind of what I meant when I said “the Burmese Vipassana seems to be at odds with my Zazen”…

See also, Brad Warner’s recent post on Zen-as-Art.  Key passage:

Art instruction works differently. I am a competent enough guitarist that I could teach someone the basics of the instrument. I can show you the chords, the blues scale, how to hold your pick real tight and make that squeaky sound like the guy from ZZ Top and so forth. Once I have instructed you, how you use that knowledge isn’t really my business. You may choose to use it for good, or you can use what I’ve taught you for evil purposes, like playing guitar in a Julio Iglesias cover band, for example.

I think that’s how good Zen teaching should function as well. Good Zen teachers shouldn’t try to unify what they teach any more than poets should try to make their poems all sound the same or novelists should try to write the same book. That would be counter to their art.

Notice that this has nothing do to with some sort of vague spacing out in which we wish that reality would go away and our thoughts would never arise again. I don’t know where people get the idea that vague aversion to experience and thought is related to insight practice, but it seems to be a common one. Mindfulness is about being very clear about our actual reality as it actually is. It is about being here now. The ultimate truth is found in the ordinary sensations that make up our world. If you are not mindful of them or reject them because you are looking for “depth” and “transcendence,” then you will be unable to appreciate what they have to teach and be unable to do insight practices.

One more great thing about the first training is that it really helps with the next training: concentration. So, here’s a tip: if you are finding it hard to concentrate because your mind is filled with guilt, judgment, envy or some other hard and difficult thought pattern, also work on the first training, kindness. It will be time well spent.

(links to source)

So why is it that people imagine what they want and they don’t get it? One of the reasons is that it’s not all about you. You are one little dot among eight billion minds, and those eight billion minds on the planet are connected with a gazillion minds in the past and future and you can only manifest from the center of gravity of the prevailing thought forms of where you are. And so if you’re living here you have to contend with all the thought forms of the past and future of this land and work with it because you really can’t step out of history, even if you are out of history if you’re an enlightened Krishnamurti or someone like that you still have to work within history and language. (emphasis mine)

(source)

“You see what trouble I have with students? She ask stupid questions and I give stupid answers, but even though stupid, they honest. But same is true even when someone—very rare—ask genuine question.  When I give true answer, her unconscious already know answer is true because unless already know answer, unconscious cannot ask question. But, even so, she think I make joke, so will not listen. In teaching is necessary to remember that no one really asks questions. Impossible to ask question about something you not already know, already have good idea. So I only give answers which she already know. Answer to such question everybody already know. Is usual, when person ask me question, to already know two answers: one pleasant, one unpleasant. Not really ask question, only want confirmation; want pleasant answer from other person than self, because already know pleasant answer not right. But. . . if other person, like myself, give pleasant answer then can say to self that I tell this answer, and so not have to worry with conscience because is my fault. But for serious man is not necessary find new answers, but new questions. Once you ask question, this mean you already have a very good idea about answer. For teacher is important make student ask new questions. This reason why education in your country and in modern times upside-down. Teacher in school never make new student ask new question or try to discover new thing. Only answer old questions to which everyone already have answer or can find answer in self without effort.”

I thanked him for what he had said and added that I was sorry that I had not done my work in the garden and that I would do it properly in the future.

He brushed aside my thanks and said that it was useless to be sorry. “Is too late for that now, and is also too late to do good work in the garden. In life never have second chance, only have one chance. You had one time to do good work in garden, for self; you not do, so now even if you work all your life, in this garden, cannot be same thing for you. But also important not be ‘sorry’ about this; can waste all life feeling sorry. There is valuable thing sometimes, thing you call remorse. If man have real remorse for something he do that is not good, this can be valuable; but if only sorry and say will do same thing better in future is waste of time. This time is already gone forever, this part of your life is finished, you cannot live over again. Not important if you do good work in garden now, because will do for wrong reasons—to try to repair damage which cannot be repaired ever. This serious thing. But also very serious not to waste time feeling sorry or feeling regret, this only waste even more time. Must learn in life, not to make such mistakes, and must understand that once make mistake is made forever.”

(again, from “My Journey With A Mystic”)

Further, he said that history had already proven to us that such tools as politics, religion, and any other organized movements which treated man “in the mass” and not as individual beings, were failures. That they would always be failures and that the separate, distinct growth of each individual in the world was the only possible solution.

(from Fritz Peters’ memoir “My Journey With A Mystic”)

This morning, I read the latest post up at Ann Seeker’s blog, where she’s been summarizing her experience of reading David Appelbaum’s book The Stop.  I bookmarked the article for later reading because I thought it was interesting.  In it, she says:

He is talking about an awareness of a “movement of energy” that takes place before our “our inner activities” take form. These activities or functions are our thoughts, desires, judgments, self-will, etc. These are functions that take on forms and we perceive them. But prior to the taking of form, there is a movement of energy and this can be perceived as well. He says, “This is the Life of our life, that which is a source for particular undertakings of functional life. Perception thus takes note of how percipient energy enters life on our ordinary level, how it animates forms of life, and how it remains distinct from these forms.”

The idea that there is an action of energy already in motion that our conscious mind responds too, which we experience as making a decision ties in with some of the early stages of Buddhist Vipassana meditation, as outlined in Practical Insight Meditation by Mahasi Sayadaw:

With further progress in meditation, the conscious state of an intention is evident before a bodily movement occurs.  The meditator  first notices that intention.  Though also at the start of his practice, he does notice “intending, intending” (for instance, to bend an arm), he cannot notice that state of consciousness directly.  Now, at this more advanced stage, he clearly notices the consciousness consisting of the intention to bend.  So he notices first the conscious state of an intention to make a bodily movement; then he notices the particular bodily movement.

Which to me is basically saying that though we think the body is moving because we are thinking about moving and moving the body, there is a subtle mistake here in that first the intention to move arises on its own, in response to conditions, and then our body moves accordingly.  I’m slowly reading through this book, though not very quickly as I’m trying to assimilate each stage before moving on to the next one.  As my meditation practice lately has been slacking, I can’t say I’ve made much progress.  Plus, the Burmese Vipassana seems to be at odds with my Zazen, so I’m still working out how to proceed there.  But the book does come highly recommended, so if anyone is interested in starting a meditation practice, I’d offer it as a clear and easy-to-read guide to Vipassana.

Anyway, the really interesting thing happened when Max posted a comment today linking back to an old post at Tim Boucher’s blog, where Tim discusses Aldous Huxley’s take on the brain as behaving as a sort of reductive-valve:

Henri Bergson has suggested that one of the main functions of the brain and nervous system is to eliminate activity and awareness, rather than produce it.

(tie that in with my last post on Dr Dan Siegal’s definition of mind…)  Tim goes on to say:

Huxley explains that our mind has powers of perception and concentration that we cannot even begin to imagine. But our main business is to survive at all costs. To make survival possible, all of our mind’s capabilities must be funneled through the reducing valve of the brain.

Some researchers are studying this effect. They believe that this reducing-valve effect may be very similar to the jamming equipment used to block out offensive radio broadcasts. The brain constantly produces a kind of static, cutting down our perception and reducing our mental activity.

This static can actually be seen. When you close your eyes, you see all sorts of random pictures flashing through your mind. It is impossible to concentrate on any one of them for more than an instant, and each image is obscured by a host of others superimposed over it.

That static is what is toned down through meditation.  See Kenneth Folk’s handy little flash graphic here.

and then Tim goes on to say:

Aldous Huxley in “The Doors of Perception” talks about a “reducing” valve in the brain that limits the amount of sensory stimulus that brain allows to be processed. This reducing value, in part, may be the thalamus. In schizophrenia, that reducing valve is more open than it should be; thus a person with schizophrenia receives too much stimulus and their brain has a hard time interpreting the inputted sensory stimulus. This may result in the positive symptoms (hallucinations and psychoses) we see in schizophrenia. When sensory overload occurs, some brain functions may shut down resulting in the negative symptoms (poverty of speech, withdrawl).

So if anything, following this breadcrumb trail of information that seems to have been thrown my way today, it seems that the experience of schizophrenia might be fairly likened to being enlightened too early, to having the connection to Mind-At-Large opened before we’re ready to handle the loads on information that pours at/through us.   I can see this creating a sort of feedback loop, where the mental program of consciousness, our sense of self determination that somehow seems to float above what’s actually going on inside our brain (as shown by the Mahasi Sayadaw quote above) is pushed away from the center of existence where it usually rests, resulting both in the positive and negative symptoms mentioned above.

I’m not exactly sure what I’m getting at here, but it all seems to point to something.  I do know one thing though: it’s not really about schizophrenia.

One other thing this brings to mind is this short little movie (which won a shit-ton of awards).  Watch it, it’s heartwrenchingly beautiful:

Skhizein (Jérémy Clapin,2008) from Bertie on Vimeo.

I’d originally found this film over at Imagining the 10th Dimension, where Rob had posted it a few weeks after he made his own post about schizophrenia and the effect of time on the brain (except remember, this isn’t actually about schizophrenia).  From Rob’s post, where he is quoting a New Scientist magazine article:

Schizophrenia certainly seems to affect people’s perception of time. If someone with schizophrenia is shown a flash of light and a sound separated by 1/10th of a second, they typically have trouble discerning which came first. Such people also estimate the passing of time less accurately than most others. Now a flurry of studies has shown that if you upset the internal clocks of healthy people, you can create some of the symptoms and delusions associated with schizophrenia.

In one experiment, healthy volunteers learned to play a video game in which they had to steer a plane around obstacles. Once people became used to the game, the researchers modified it to insert a 0.2-second delay in the plane’s response to volunteers moving the computer mouse. After the modification, the players’ performance initially worsened; but in time their brains compensated for the delay, to the extent that they actually perceived the movement of the mouse and the movement of the aircraft to take place simultaneously.

But the subjects’ strangest experience occurred then the experimenters removed the delay and set the timing back to normal. Suddenly, the players were perceiving the plane to be moving before they consciously steered it with the mouse (Psychological Science, vol 12, p 532). That’s uncannily similar to how people with schizophrenia describe feelings that they are somehow being controlled by another being.

Rob goes on to explain his opinion on the subject:

Fascinating! I found this particularly interesting to think about within the context of recent studies that show people can form their decisions to do one thing or another well before they are consciously aware of their decision: in Is Creativity a Quantum Process we briefly looked at some articles (like this one from the Wall Street Journal) discussing the recently published work of psychologist Joydeep Bhattacharya of London’s Goldsmith College. Amazingly, Dr. Bhattacharya’s brainwave monitoring experiments revealed evidence that people can have arrived at a solution to a problem as much as 8 seconds before their conscious minds become aware of it!

There have been arguments proposing that results such as these demonstrate that our free will is an illusion, because the neuro-chemical activity that forms our decisions may be some inevitable “behind the scenes” process which we interpret as our free will by the time we consciously feel ourselves choosing (and persons familiar with this project will know that I strongly disagree with any conclusions that free will doesn’t exist).

I tend to agree with Rob on this, that just because our free will might not be quick and immediate as we think it is, this doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.  Its just that our consciousness is not exactly in touch with the core process at work in our being.  Becoming aware of these process, it seems would both destroy the feeling that we were somehow separate from them, but also give our free will a better, more holistic expression.

Our brain is a perfectly reflecting gem, and its always perfectly reflecting.  We just have to clear out the conscious static (caused by our mind’s very real and correct desire to survive) so as to get in touch with that place inside our self where the truth of what is, is focused.  Zap, moon in a dew drop indeed.

“A core aspect of the mind can be defined as an embodied and relational process that regulates the flow of energy and information.”

(full transcript here)

One thing to note is that this definition means we must separate “mind” from “awareness”…

Just found out about this guy.  Amazing.

He did engravings for the Divine Comedy, The Bible, The Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner, and a bunch of other stuff.  The best site I could find on him is here.  Wikipedia here…

Irrational thoughts should be followed absolutely and logically.   If the artist changes his mind midway through the execution of the piece he compromises the result and repeats past results.   The artist’s will is secondary to the process he initiates from idea to completion. His willfulness may only be ego.

from Sentences on Conceptual Art
thanks Max!